5 Stages of Authentic Living

When pursuing your goals and striving for happiness, there are certain phases that we go through that unfold our world into greater and greater degrees of vitality and aliveness. As you begin to practice these it may seem, as it did for me, that your world is becoming larger and that you are offered a wider and expanding selection of options and emotions to experience. You begin to see new possibilities that seemed unimaginable before.

This is not a linear progression that you do once and expect everything to be perfect afterwards. This is a continual process that will unfold to you more and more over time as you cultivate it, like peeling layers off of an onion. The following are the five stages of authentic living. These are only a brief overview. I will be expanding on these in future postings.

1. Awareness

Are you aware of what is happening around you or are you checked-out and oblivious? Awareness means being conscious to your surroundings, your body, and your feelings. Awareness means being alive in this present moment. When someone asks you, "How are you?" do you instantly respond thoughtlessly with "fine" or "okay," or do you stop and check in with yourself. Maybe you're not fine. Maybe a more honest answer is "I'm tired and a little hungry." Do you pay attention to what is happening around you while you're working? Do you put all of your attention on the task at hand and execute it with care an precision, or are you too caught up multi-tasking? Is your mind off preparing you for a meeting while you're talking to clients on the phone and typing up e-mails full of typos and errors?

2. Acceptance

Okay, so you're aware of what is going on around you. This is where acceptance comes in. Acceptance means welcoming in what you are aware of and not fighting against it. You may not like it, but fighting against it is just a waste of energy and the cause of all suffering. When something happens that you don't like, instead of fighting it, breathe it in and welcome it into your life--because like it or not, it's there and there's no use trying to deny it.

3. Composure

What are your values? What is your life about? Is what you are experiencing taking you toward or away from where you want to be? This is composure. Composure is aligning your life to your goals and dreams, and it is standing up for what you believe in. The two ways we lose composure are through surrendering our values and through faking that we are something that we are not. If you are not used to it, stepping into composure can be frightening at first, but owning your experiences and your desires is integral to authentic living.

4. Completeness

Completeness is a state in which you feel fully at ease with who you are and your life. From here there is nothing you need and nothing to cling to. it may involve healing old emotional scars you may have and releasing uncomfortable emotions that you have been holding onto or unwilling to experience for quite some time. The self-reflection may be highly emotionally charged, but the catharsis you feel afterward is this sense of being complete and whole as you are.

5. Authenticity

At this point, authenticity will naturally flow out of you. You don't need to worry about this part. It's more a freedom and aliveness that comes from practicing the previous four stages. And as you continue to practice awareness, acceptance, composure, and completeness, you will find that your authentic expressions of life continue to grow and become much richer and rewarding experiences.

2009 - My Best Year Yet!

The past two years have been pretty big years for me. I've gotten over my shyness, moved to a new city, enrolled in grad school, and many other things. However, I have big plans for 2009. Here are the goals I'm working on this year:

1. Finish School. I have one semester to go and I'll have a freshly-minted masters degree and they'll turn me and all my crazy ideas loose onto the world! The only problem: I have to do my thesis this semester...

2. Move out of Phoenix. I'm sure Phoenix is a great place for some people, with it's abundant seven-lane roads, Circle K stores, and heat that literally makes you fear being outside... it just isn't for me. This year, I'm going to move to a new city. One that fits my personality better.

3. Get a Job. In order to obtain a professional license in my career, I'll need to work for a few years and "pay my dues."

4. Get in Shape. I'm tired of being a wimpy, scrawny guy that gets winded every time he runs up a flight of stairs. I know I'll be busy with school this year, but I'm going to make time to get in shape.

5. Learn Japanese. I've always wanted to learn Japanese, and a trip to Tokyo last year has really inspired me. For now, I have one of those page-a-day calendars to help me practice the kanji characters, but once I'm done with school, I would like to take some Japanese classes.

6. Play the Guitar. I've wanted to do this for awhile too. I probably won't have much time while I'm in school, but I'm going to start learning this year.

7. Get in Touch with Relatives. I have a lot of relatives that I don't really know at all. I'd like to change this this year. I'm going to send letters to some addresses that I swiped out of my mom's address book and see if I can get some new pen pals.

8. Get My Art Displayed. I need to find an artistic "muse" and produce some sort of coherent series of paintings that I can get displayed somewhere.

So, those are my goals for 2009. I'm going to start small by building some daily habits (see below). And we'll see how far I can get. I think this year is going to be pretty fun!

One Goal Each Month

Okay. It's a new year and I'm about to leave Washington State and return to Arizona for my final semester of school. I have essentially put my resolutions on hold until I return, but I suppose I can't stay in a comfortable holiday coma forever...

Once I touch down at PHX, I will begin working on a few goals of my own. I've recently started reading a blog called Zen Habits, which advocates goal achievement through building simple and incredibly easy habits, one at a time for a 30 day period.

So, starting tomorrow, I will work on exercising 10 minutes a day every morning when I first wake up.