I first picked up the short book All I Asking for is My Body by Milton Murayama at a small bookstore in Seattle. I was looking for a book book by my favorite author Haruki Murakami, and this one happened to catch my eye. It was short, it looked interesting, and I didn't know it at the time, but it put the fight back into me.
The story is about a Japanese-American family in Hawaii during the '30s and '40s. The main character Kiyoshi Oyama is one of two sons in the family. Both him and his brother feel trapped as they waste away their lives fulfilling their filial duty by trying to repay their parents' sizable debt. Their frustrated attempts to overcome their situation and the demands placed on them by the society they live in is an excellent inspiration. This book gave me the strength and courage to dream of a life outside of what my current reality was.
I strongly recommend this book if you feel like you've lost the ability to dream big or if you feel like your current situation in life has you trapped. I hope this book will breathe some life back into you the same way it did to me.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
My Story
I used to be asleep.
Not just in bed at night, but 24/7. Day in, day out, I would sleepwalk through my entire life. I was working a dead-end job, stuck in a lifeless relationship, and completely unaware of my feelings and emotions. I was shut down and oblivious to everything that I've come to enjoy the most about life. I was vaguely dissatisfied with life, but every time I even began to think about changing my situation, something held me back--FEAR.
This went on for quite some time, until I went on a camping trip in 2005 to Kalaloch on the Washington peninsula right next to the ocean. One night, I went out onto the beach for a walk. It was very dark and all the other campers were sound asleep. The only light I could see was the full moon and its shimmering pale light shining off of the wet sand on the beach. I remember feeling afraid. Afraid of the darkness that hid me from the rest of the world, afraid of the massive power of the ocean roaring so near me, and afraid of the sublime feeling of the whole situation.
I would have normally taken this as a sign to go back to camp for the night, but something strange got into me. I suddenly felt a strong urge to defy my feelings of fear and walk out into the ocean. Step by step, I soon found the cold dark water lapping up against my feet. I kept going deeper and deeper. Soon my legs were struggling against the thick water and I realized I was up to my waist in ocean water.
I stopped and looked around. I was completely terrified! I felt completely vulnerable and alone. At anytime the Pacific could just sweep me away into its vast darkness and no one could do anything to stop it. I relaxed into this terror and allowed myself to feel exactly how afraid I was.
I didn't realize it then, but by the time I trudged back to camp, I was a new man. The whole experience flipped a switch inside me. Suddenly fear wasn't a reason to back down or play it safe, but fear because a reason to take a bold step forward and challenge myself. My life began to change after that. I found a better job, I went back to school, I found new hobbies, and I left my bad relationship and learned to love myself.
I am starting this blog to help others by sharing what I have found most useful in pursuing my dreams and overcoming personal obstacles to success. I hope you find the information and suggestions here helpful.
Yours,
Clayton
Not just in bed at night, but 24/7. Day in, day out, I would sleepwalk through my entire life. I was working a dead-end job, stuck in a lifeless relationship, and completely unaware of my feelings and emotions. I was shut down and oblivious to everything that I've come to enjoy the most about life. I was vaguely dissatisfied with life, but every time I even began to think about changing my situation, something held me back--FEAR.
This went on for quite some time, until I went on a camping trip in 2005 to Kalaloch on the Washington peninsula right next to the ocean. One night, I went out onto the beach for a walk. It was very dark and all the other campers were sound asleep. The only light I could see was the full moon and its shimmering pale light shining off of the wet sand on the beach. I remember feeling afraid. Afraid of the darkness that hid me from the rest of the world, afraid of the massive power of the ocean roaring so near me, and afraid of the sublime feeling of the whole situation.
I would have normally taken this as a sign to go back to camp for the night, but something strange got into me. I suddenly felt a strong urge to defy my feelings of fear and walk out into the ocean. Step by step, I soon found the cold dark water lapping up against my feet. I kept going deeper and deeper. Soon my legs were struggling against the thick water and I realized I was up to my waist in ocean water.
I stopped and looked around. I was completely terrified! I felt completely vulnerable and alone. At anytime the Pacific could just sweep me away into its vast darkness and no one could do anything to stop it. I relaxed into this terror and allowed myself to feel exactly how afraid I was.
I didn't realize it then, but by the time I trudged back to camp, I was a new man. The whole experience flipped a switch inside me. Suddenly fear wasn't a reason to back down or play it safe, but fear because a reason to take a bold step forward and challenge myself. My life began to change after that. I found a better job, I went back to school, I found new hobbies, and I left my bad relationship and learned to love myself.
I am starting this blog to help others by sharing what I have found most useful in pursuing my dreams and overcoming personal obstacles to success. I hope you find the information and suggestions here helpful.
Yours,
Clayton
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