My Story

I used to be asleep.

Not just in bed at night, but 24/7. Day in, day out, I would sleepwalk through my entire life. I was working a dead-end job, stuck in a lifeless relationship, and completely unaware of my feelings and emotions. I was shut down and oblivious to everything that I've come to enjoy the most about life. I was vaguely dissatisfied with life, but every time I even began to think about changing my situation, something held me back--FEAR.

This went on for quite some time, until I went on a camping trip in 2005 to Kalaloch on the Washington peninsula right next to the ocean. One night, I went out onto the beach for a walk. It was very dark and all the other campers were sound asleep. The only light I could see was the full moon and its shimmering pale light shining off of the wet sand on the beach. I remember feeling afraid. Afraid of the darkness that hid me from the rest of the world, afraid of the massive power of the ocean roaring so near me, and afraid of the sublime feeling of the whole situation.

I would have normally taken this as a sign to go back to camp for the night, but something strange got into me. I suddenly felt a strong urge to defy my feelings of fear and walk out into the ocean. Step by step, I soon found the cold dark water lapping up against my feet. I kept going deeper and deeper. Soon my legs were struggling against the thick water and I realized I was up to my waist in ocean water.

I stopped and looked around. I was completely terrified! I felt completely vulnerable and alone. At anytime the Pacific could just sweep me away into its vast darkness and no one could do anything to stop it. I relaxed into this terror and allowed myself to feel exactly how afraid I was.

I didn't realize it then, but by the time I trudged back to camp, I was a new man. The whole experience flipped a switch inside me. Suddenly fear wasn't a reason to back down or play it safe, but fear because a reason to take a bold step forward and challenge myself. My life began to change after that. I found a better job, I went back to school, I found new hobbies, and I left my bad relationship and learned to love myself.

I am starting this blog to help others by sharing what I have found most useful in pursuing my dreams and overcoming personal obstacles to success. I hope you find the information and suggestions here helpful.

Yours,
Clayton